Just Me and My Pal Al...............

Just me and my pal Al!

The total number of tables at Artopolis, in the Greek hub of Astoria north of the RFK Bridge, doesn’t exceed six, but for some reason that’s enough to attract  some intellectuals and thinkers, perhaps because most of the time it provides seclusion and sometimes enough relevant substance to ogle behind the counter. We philosophize over a cup of bitter ‘sketto’ Greek coffee in the quest of solving the world’s ailments, but as you surmise, our verbiage doesn’t make it even in the National Herald.

“It must be something in the air,” spurts Al (short for Alexander, as in’ Great’), referring to the way things work in the world today. “It definitely has to be! I mean, look at the line-up of candidates the Republicans are dishing out. You’d think they’re applying for a job at Barnum & Bailey.”

“I have to agree with you Al,” I retorted, since I couldn’t agree more with him. “These folks are at the very least comical as to be drawing the ire of a real comedian called Stephen Colbert who delights in mimicking them.”

“It’s as if all viable GOP candidates for President have suddenly vanished. So we’re given the choice between a  womanizer who added 3 to the devil’s 6-6-6 , a vulture capitalist who has earned three Pinocchio awards from the Washington Post and an avenger with a baggage who earned four. Which reminds me……..”  

What does it remind you Al, I pressed on!

 “Yeah, that’s it, that’s what it reminds me of. It reminds me of our predicament with the Orthodox Church and its gluttony for wealth, without ever building a single new institution, but instead closing schools one after another.

Now, now Al, I interrupted.

“No, seriously,” Al shot back. I mean it isn’t only this comedy unwinding by candidates for the toughest job in the United States. Hear me out,” he pleaded.

OK, I retorted.  I’m listening.

“I mean, I don’t know where to start when it comes to Byzantine intrigue perpetrated by the once capital of the grand namesake empire. We all know that the monastery known as Vatopedi, is the property of the patriarchate in Istanbul, and we all know more or less all the unusual events that happened in the vicinity, from the helicopter ‘accident ‘that killed one of the patriarch’s peers, Petros at the height of his reign as the patriarch of Alexandria and all Africa, to the illegal property swapping which resulted in millions of Euros in profit-but for whom?.”

Yeah, I chorused. Who profited, I asked.

“Who profited?” Al answered with a smirk in his face. “Who else but Vatopedi’s un-holy people, and those who command them.”

You mean the patriarch? I asked innocently.

“Now, now let’s not play dumb,” Al injected getting impatient with my simplicity “Not all the patriarch’s cronies are headquartered in Istanbul,” he said. Then as an afterthought he continued: “Well, supposing there is a someone-a higher authority than the patriarch in this mix. And I don’t mean a divine one. Would you consider this plausible?“

The way the world’s going, I’d consider anything. I lamented.

“Good for you,” he praised my support. Regardless, the issue here is that lots of mysterious things happened behind closed doors and by that coast since the untimely death of saintly patriarch Dimitrios . So Ephraim-they call him Abbott I believe, had to know about lots of little-and big-sins we’re not aware of, yes?”

I’d say, I laconized.

“So then why is there such a campaign to free him and why the patriarch rushes to visit him in his cell at Korydallos? There’s gotta be a good reason. Also, if the Russians are the accusers on the scene, why is the patriarch, who not long ago fought them and called them ‘trouble-makers to a woman visitor just so he can add a bunch of Lithuanian Orthodox to his fold, is sticking his nose instead of gorging on the best-and most expensive- food Istanbul offers. There must be a reason behind it, you agree?”

I guess, I answered meekly.

“And listen. The patriarch-and this higher authority of his whose name isn’t to be mentioned here, (which is neither the Pope nor God but could be compared to  the devil ) are getting mixed up in it? Which of all the conspiracies are trying to cover? Then again, think about the following.

What? I asked.

“The Public Relations-a one man operation in the service of the patriarch-call him the higher authority- spares no effort to make sure we digest that the Bishop of Constantinople as the patriarch is known in Turkey, has 300 million Orthodox followers around the world. The sad fact though is that 200 million out of these 300 million belong to Russia, Romania, Serbia and every other sect of non-Hellene Orthodox, over which this patriarch cannot exert any authority-even if he tried. But when it comes to cash, 300 million is only part of the stash, whether in Lire, Euros or Dollars….

Me